just to see them smile...

i'd do anything to get a little kid smile. but this one has prob been the funniest.



me and hayden (above) were playing our normal "house" and after he flipped our car over. he decided it was my turn to drive.




the kids thought it was hilarious. as well as the teachers. but seeing those kids crack up. priceless. it took a while to finally get out though. ;) but well worth it.
don't know that i'll try that again today though.
unless its requested of course.

connection...

This morning started off kinda interesting for me.
As i got to school, i walked around the corner to the gym and saw a little girl standing there bawling her eyes out. At the effort to calm her down, i couldn't help but shed a tear myself.[nothing new]
I finally got her to stop crying enough to tell me what was wrong. When i asked,
she said with her voice shaking "i had bad dreams last night that bad things happened to my parents."
My heart stopped.
I'd been there before.
I said uncertain, "those dreams don't come true. Those aren't the beautiful dreams, and only beautiful dreams come true."
I told her honestly, "i've had those before too."
Reassuring her that they won't happen, she said " i have them all the time, every single night."
Still crying, she said "it makes me feel like i'm going to throw up when i get to school and my parents just dropped me off"
This worried me a little bit. I decided to take her to the school nurse to see if she could get her to calm down.
Thinking to myself that i'm the one who needed to calm down as well.
My heart hasn't stopped racing. nor my mind.
i've been there before. many times. more than i can remember.

we made a connetion though. although one that i choose not to think about.
me and this little girl.

dreamer....

"i'm a dreamer, and nothing more..."


someone told me the other day, someone who knows me better than most...you can't help you've always been a dreamer, that you always see the glass half full and you believe it. you can't help that.

its funny, why do you believe things even though you proven its not going to happen. i have. with so many things in my life, not just recently but for so long. i'm given every reason to back away, yet i still dream of something so good happening, something changing, a spark to replug and reset the way things go. yet everytime, i just get disappointed. I'm not sure why i keep putting myself through it. i've always been this way, and probably always will. and it will probably ruin me before its the end, but a dreamer ill always be.