expectations...

"people tell you your expectations are too high. but who cares? Why shouldn't you expect the best?"

-this was my horoscope for the day. my much observed and re-read horoscope that leaves me to ponder and wonder. Like seriously, how does it read my mind. how does it know what i'm feeling, thinking, trying to but yet fighting to understand?

I've been realizing this from a lot of lifes colored spectrums. that i simply expect too much. from life? from people? from moments? No, i don't agree with those set opinions of late. I'm not one to settle with "okay". It's not the way i've lived my life from day one. It's not the way i want to do things, or picture things, or the standards I want to go by. And I can't see why or how its possible to give me that pre-conception that I set my standards and expectations too high.

Are you kidding me?
In relationships, I want the best and demand the best. I'm not saying I want to find the ones everyone wants to have a relationship with. But when it comes to me, i demand that what i give, i want in return. That I don't want to be stabbed in the back repeatedly. That I don't want to be okay with a simple i love you. That i feel the need that love must be proven. Trusting someone is one thing, and although that comes difficult i do it. But is it really all it takes? Granted loving someone is emotion, and you can't exactly prove emotions. But to show and express to someone you love them, thats real and thats proof. I don't say i love you unless I mean it, and i don't mean it unless i'm willing to show it, otherwise i can't gain someones trust to believe in my love for them.


When it comes to life, I want the best. I work to achieve and get to the top. I do what is expected and don't stop til i do. thats me. why should you work any other way than that. why should you be involved in something or committed to something if you can't give it everything you've got. morally, how can that be possible.
I want to change lives. I want to make impressions day in and day out.
I want to grow up, but stay a kid. I want to be happy and do everything right in God's eyes to do that. I want to be like my mother. It's who i admire and respect. I want to be a wonderful mom. I want to raise a beautiful child. I want to be a wonderful wife. I want to teach my children whats right and wrong, how to respect everyone. How to fight for things they believe in. How to not give up on love. How to believe in whats real. How to be a real person, to live for God, to not change for anyone. I want to be successful. I want to teach children every day for the rest of my life. Til i can't anymore.

I have such high expectations. but i want it all. i want it in the right order, i want it when it should come. I want it to be God's gift to me, and to sacrifice all i have to make it right.

Maybe,my expectations are too high, ...
no theres no way.